Conflict can arise from a host of roots and causes, but principally it occurs from differences between people who disagree about ideas or find themselves in difficult situations. 'Ideas conflict' can be desirable and creative when handled constructively; 'situations conflict' can cause frustration and resentment if not dealt with. Personal conflict can be damaging and destructive unless it is managed with thought and care. Ultimately conflict can cost a great deal of time and money. Most organisations and individuals recognise the need to solve personal conflicts before they become destructive.

Definition
Personal conflict occurs when two or more parties have opposing attitudes or approaches to a particular situation, issue, or person. Sources of conflict range from a differ­ence of opinion, problematic working conditions, or un­realistic work expectations through to discriminatory be­haviour such as racism or sexism, poor communication, or non-compliance with organisational norms or values. 

Conflict can occur between a member of staff and a manager, between two or more members of a team, or between departments, sections, or managers. Whether you are involved directly affects whether you negotiate with someone else, apply grievance or disciplinary measures, or mediate between other parties.
Conflict can be covert, taking the form of resentment from a team member passed over for promotion or irrita­tion caused by an individual's personal habits. This type of conflict is much harder to detect and easier to ignore. Whichever type it is, all conflict needs to be managed before it becomes a destructive force.

Advantages
The advantages of managing conflict situations are:

• better motivated staff; staff energies are directed to work rather than emotions
• a more positive image of the organisation or staff
• improved team work
• better personal development of individuals

Disadvantages
The disadvantages of avoiding or failing to manage a conflict situation may include:

• the escalation and spread of the conflict to others
• the dissipation of staff energy
• the misdirection of staff energy, contributing to falling productivity
• the misperception that inaction is the easiest option—the problem will ultimately be harder to solve.

Action Checklist
1. Recognise Conflict
To handle conflict you have to spot it. Remember it can be overt, from an obvious or identifiable cause, clearly visible and defined; or covert, from a less obvious or apparently unrelated cause (for example, an employee could seem to be in conflict with colleagues, when the root cause is a perception that the supervisor's treatment of staff is discriminatory).

2. Monitor the Climate
Monitoring the climate at work gives you an early warning system, making it far easier to deal with conflict swiftly and efficiently before it gets out of hand. This does not mean constantly being on your guard; it simply means being prepared and keeping your eyes open. If you see a likely conflict situation, don't turn a blind eye. Early action saves time and stress later.

3. Research the Situation
Take time to find out the real cause of the conflict, who is involved, what the key issue is, and what its actual and potential effects are. Empathise—see the situation from other people's point of view.

4. Plan Your Approach
Encourage the parties concerned to examine the interests behind their position and try to create a climate of exchange so that the parties can deal with each other more constructively next time. Work out a strategy based on what this investigation has shown. Managers should decide upon the result they want to achieve, bearing in mind that as different evidence emerges their preferred outcome may not always be possible.

5. Handle the Issue
Handling conflict is a difficult process that can create extreme emotions. Use the following techniques:

• Stay calm. Take time to respond—don't give a knee-jerk reaction. If necessary take a break until people are calm enough to discuss the issues rationally and con­structively.
• Listen to the points of view of everyone involved and take time to understand all the issues raised by the con­flict. Remember that people will be much more open and honest if they feel they have a receptive and interested audience. Be aware of your body language and spoken language.
• Avoid fight or flight. The instinctive human reaction to conflict is either to run away or face it and fight. Neither of these approaches is constructive.
• Fighting back or being aggressive to one or both parties when you are not personally involved causes greater long-term conflict and intimidates staff.
• Flight avoids solving the conflict and leads to loss of respect.
• Stay assertive. This means avoiding being either passive or aggressive; neither is assertive and each is a short-term approach unlikely to solve the conflict.
• Passive behaviour is characterised by apologising, with­drawn body language, and always accepting the other person's point of view whether it is right or not.
• Aggressive behaviour is characterised by being authoritarian and refusing to listen to reasoned argument. An assertive approach is generally the best way to handle conflict. It means:
  • acknowledging the views and rights of all parties
  • encouraging the parties to find the causes of the con­flict—and solutions to it
  • trying to ensure that opinions and thoughts are ex­pressed honestly and openly
  • suggesting a constructive way forward

6 . Let Everyone Have a Say
If you have managed to get the parties around a table for discussion in a climate in which exchange is possible, then reaching a compromise solution may be feasible. Remember that your desired solution must hit a wide range of targets. It must:

• help to build good working relationships
• be legitimate, non-discriminatory, and compatible with organisational practice
• recognise all parties' alternatives
• help to improve communication
• help to generate a lasting commitment to the solution

7. Find the Way Forward
The most important aspect of handling a conflict situation is to find an acceptable way forward.

• Examine the options and decide what to do next.
• Can you reach a compromise acceptable to both or all sides?
• If not, what action needs to be taken to prevent the conflict from con­tinuing?
• Make sure everyone knows what the conclusion is and what each person is expected to do.
• The next steps need to be agreed and spelled out. They could include:
  • an individual's need for counselling,
  • the likelihood of disciplinary proceedings, or
  • an agree­ment to be implemented
  • even moving a member of staff to another department if there is a deep-rooted personal antagonism.

Sometimes problems relate to health or psychology—you have to judge where your limits lie in resolving apparently intractable personal antagonisms. 

8. Appraise, don't dwell
It is important to learn from conflict situations and move forward. Don't dwell on the past and reopen old wounds. Appraise the conflict and the way it was handled to see what you can learn.

• How can similar conflicts be avoided in the future?
• How could a similar situation be handled better?
• Learn from the experience and keep your eye on what has been resolved to stop it flaring up again.

DO

• Tackle conflict early to keep it from escalating.
• Try to avoid instinctive reactions.
• Think the problem through and plan a way to deal with the conflict.
• Refrain from offering your own opinion before understanding the full picture.
• Stay assertive.

DON'T

• Don't avoid the issue and ignore the conflict.
• Don't take it personally (unless it is personal).
• Don't jump in without assessing and understanding the problem.
• Don't fight anger with anger.
• Don't run away.
• Don't handle conflict in public

Thought Starters

• Do you encourage all parties to explore factors common to their respective positions?
• Do you try to enable the parties to deal effectively with their differences?
• Do you try to make it easier for the parties to deal with each other next time?
• Do you encourage the parties to come up with ways of generating mutual gain?
• Do you encourage the parties to work out realistic appraisals of their point of view?

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